My life at home pretty much revolves around poop and/or puke. If I'm not scraping crap or barf off of something, I'm wiping somebody's butt. It would be nice to just be responsible for my own butt for a while, but unfortunately, it looks like that is never going to happen. By the time Milo is finally able to wipe his own butt without assistance and the dogs drop dead, my parents will totally enfeebled and will be needing me to wipe their butts. And then Corey will be too old and fat to wipe his butt so I'll have to take care of him too. Who, I ask, WHO is going to wipe my butt when I can't reach it anymore???
The reason for this tirade is the current goings on at our house. Quinn had to go back to the vet again for digestion problems. He was not near death this time (whew!) but he had been throwing up a lot recently and having horrible awful stinky gas for days at a time, and occasionally icky poops. The dumb dog is a stress mess and is causing his own tummy to be in turmoil, so the diagnosis is that he has to stay on low dose antibiotics for the rest of his life, eat easy to digest food (expensive!! The bag of food the vet sold me is 8lbs and costs $24!) and try to stay out of stressful situations. Since living is a stressful situation for Quinn, we have to look into ways to keep him calm. I would opt for doggie prozac but the vet said no. So I've been doing lots of research on homeopathic calming methods. We have one thing called Rescue Remedy that is a liquid potion of flower essences, that seems to help Quinn keep his cool. We'll see what happens in the long run. In the meantime I'm also researching different dog foods to see what else is out there that is comparable to what the vet sold me, but won't cost a small fortune. I can see into my future now, that I'll be buying whole chickens and boiling them up for the damn dog, along with his daily ration of rice that he already eats. I'll be one of those dog owners, which I vowed I would never be!
In other digestive tract news, Lily managed to get hold of our outdoor thermometer today and ate it. Glass and all. We're pretty sure it was an alcohol thermometer, as the stuff inside it was red, so hopefully Lily won't croak of mercury poisoning. The glass shards are going to feel really good moving through her insides. I don't know what gets into that dumb dog sometimes. The other day I found some sort of horrid spiky seed pod thing in her poop; it looked like a smaller version of those gumball things that fall off trees. Why in heck would that even look inviting to eat? Can you imagine what that felt like coming out the other end?? Jeez. No wonder the dog howls instead of barks! I would howl a lot too if my butt was always on fire from something I ate.
At least Milo isn't having any weird problems. Yet.
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