Some Unsolicited Advice

Here's a little nugget of truth that finally hit me between the eyes. It took me 39 years to figure it out, so I'll spare you some hard work:

Keep your expectations low (of people, events, online purchases, etc) and you will never be disappointed. In fact, you might find yourself being surprised more often when things turn out better than you had thought they might!

Random Stuff That Makes Me Happy

As I grow older, I've learned to find joy in unexpected places. When you're a kid, you think happiness is this thing that you can grab onto and it will last and last. Wrong!!! Happiness and joy are fragile bubbles that are easily popped, so find them in anyplace you can and enjoy their fleeting beauty.

So, in no particular order, the things that spin my dials:

* When I'm sailing past the traffic jam on 295 every morning as I exit onto route 29, where traffic is moving along just fine, despite the lights and volume.

* When somebody ELSE replaces the empty toilet paper roll!!

* When I happen to have my camera on me and I see something totally cool and picture worthy.

* When three persistent dog noses push their way under the blankets at 5:30AM to tell me it's time for breakfast. Nothing like a cold nose on your foot and the small of your back to wake you right up!

* Hearing Milo laugh at something on TV, his genuine carefree little kid laugh. Not the one that he does when he doesn't really think something is funny.

* When Corey makes dinner.

* Sitting on the deck or in the hammock, in the sun, with a good book.

* Watching the dogs have fun just chasing each other around the yard.

* A full tank of gas.

* Reading with Milo at the end of each day.

* Going on adventures big and small, and showing Milo how amazing the world can be.

* Watching Milo play with his friends and listening to the things they talk about (frequently hilarious)

* Hanging out with Corey doing nothing in particular and just talking about life in general.

* Movie night with Corey & Milo

* Spending time with the rest of my family and not arguing with them (sometimes tricky)

* Dressing up all glamourous/or crazy for no real reason.

* Wearing an amazing hat.

* Dance parties with Milo!

* Wifeswap. (Cmon, everyone has to have a guilty pleasure!)

Of course, there are too many to list, but that's just a peek into why I get a kick out of every day.

Mother's Day 2013

Well, here it is, Mother's Day again...Milo is 8 years old and time is flying by faster than I can shake a stick at it. Our days are a whirlwind of work, school, household chores, homework, dinner and then off to bed to get enough rest to do it all over again. On the rare moment that I actually get to have downtime, I have drifted away from wanting to sit at the computer for any reason, and am much more comfortable sprawled out in my bed, book in lap and chips in bowl! I post to FB only because of the handiness of my cell phone...if I didn't have that, I would probably never have time to look at Facebook anymore. 

So anyway, all busy-ness aside, the boys went to visit Milo's Grandma Carolynn today and gifted me with a few precious hours to myself. In all honesty, it's the best gift I could have gotten as being able to hear myself think is becoming a lost art around here. While I was puttering around the yard, and playing with the dogs, I was thinking about how much our lives have changed since Milo arrived, mostly for the better, and how much I have personally learned and grown as a person since becoming a mom. 

To summarize my philosophical musings: 

1) You don't understand the capacity or intensity of love that can fill your heart and soul until you have a kid of your own. Yes, I love Corey deeply, a little more each day in fact, and always will, but that is entirely different from the overwhelming wave I felt when we first met Milo. From the moment I knew we were having a baby, the love I felt toward the speck (and still feel) is so huge that it almost hurts. "Family" becomes such a more meaningful concept when you move away from being someone else's kid and become a parent. 

2) Having a kid changes your relationship with the rest of the world. Completely. Suddenly, your world is right there in your arms and you will do anything to protect it! All other things are less important than making sure your child is safe, warm, and well cared for. For a while it is a strain to be the parents responsible for this new life but after a year or two, it gets a whole lot easier to bear the burden. Especially when the baby starts talking and you can understand exactly what he or she needs instead of trying to interpret 28 different varieties of "WAAAAHHHHHHH!'  And suddenly you find you can talk to your husband again without having to shout everything at him, over the "WAHHHH" because now the kid is yelling comprehensible words instead. The day that Corey and I looked at each other and realized we were having a normal conversation that did not involve the words diapers, poop or formula was a wonderful day indeed. (Now that Milo is 8 though, we are having conversations about poop and farts all the time. Bodily functions are a source of endless amusement to that child!)

3) The hardest lesson I personally had to learn is that once you have a kid, you can kiss goodbye to EVER having an uncluttered house ever again. When I was younger I used to dream of having a spartan, Jetsons-style house where all the surfaces were very zen and bare, and if you wanted anything, you had to open a cabinet door to get it. I did my best to live that way, until I had to live with someone else!

The reality is: Not only do kids require a whole lot of crap to maintain, somehow that crap multiplies itself exponentially and is nearly impossible to get rid of. Despite doing a massive attic/closet/basement clean out at least twice a year and dropping oodles of stuff off at Goodwill on a regular basis, somehow there is always clutter everywhere I look. This used to frustrate me tremendously because I was a neatnik to the point of being OCD and would drive Corey crazy with the straightening and the cleaning. After a couple of years it finally sank in that all I was doing was stressing myself out, along with everyone around me, with trying to keep the place under control. Finally I am at the point of "Good enough."  Can I see the kitchen table under the pile of stuff there? Good enough. Is the floor swept enough that you can see the pattern of the linoleum? Good enough. No more trying to obtain Martha-Stewart-crazy-perfection in the home for me! I find I have a lot more time to spend with Milo and Corey, also, now that I am less of a control freak about clutter and cleanliness.

4) All in all, being a mom is the best choice I ever made. There are bad days and good, as with anything else, but the good days are really awesome and the bad days are just slightly less than awesome. Being able to watch Milo as he develops his sense of personality and well being are more rewarding than I ever would have thought imaginable. It is a sheer pleasure to watch him tackle issues and overcome them on his own (or once in a while with a nudge from Corey and I) and to see him engage in the world around him with wonder and curiosity as he learns a little more each day. Sometimes Milo needs a little help from us, and sometimes we have to figure out when to let him do things on his own, but it is refreshing and endearing to see that our baby has grown into such a sensitive, intelligent, creative kid. If I'm saying all this good stuff about him now, imagine what we'll be saying about him in 8 more years!