Its been a really busy month for me and today, at last, I'm able to take a break and do what needs doing around the house, and have a few hours just to chill out and do nothing, with no schedule to stick to. Days like this are few and far between and when I have the opportunity to create them, I take it, as it recharges not only my mental batteries but also gives the rest of the people in this house a break from me in "busy mode" and lets them relax a bit too.
All too often I hear other people telling me how their days are scheduled from dawn to dusk with activities and places to go, and I think to myself "Whose choice is that? All you have to do is say "no" once in awhile!" but I realize that it is extremely difficult for some people to do just that. I'd rather spend an afternoon puttering around at home and listening to Milo play in his room than feel like I'm being pulled in twenty different directions that none of us want to go in, in the first place! When it stops being fun, it's time to stop doing it, is my motto.
Unless it's your job, of course, then you have to stick with the program or else you're not going to eat!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
Nothing Lasts Forever...
All things must pass, as the George Harrison song says. And with that, I think Milo and I will soon bid adieu to what had been our favoritest place to be in the summer time: Harry Wright Lake in Whiting. Since Milo was a year or two old, we've been spending our summer Saturdays there, as it was an almost perfect place for a family outing. The water was clean (lake clean, some plant growth but not too bad, and the goose population is minimal), the beaches were clean, the bathrooms were clean and our fellow attendees were by and large friendly and pleasant to share space with.
This summer, we've only gone two times so far and both times have been a bit depressing. For reasons unknown, the plant life in the lake has gone unchecked, so the floating algae and assorted vegetation is out of control. It's one thing to have some of that in the lake, and it's beneficial, of course, but so much that the water is choked with it? Hardly necessary. There are mechanical and biological measures that can be taken to control the plant life to the point where it exists symbiotically as its supposed to, instead of being the first thing a person immediately notices about the water. If there's that much plant life in the lake, that means there are a lot more nutrients than usual...so where are those nutrients coming from? More goose poop? People poop? Fish poop? hard to say, but it's a bit gross for a germphobe to think about.
The water has been a little dirtier than usual as well. When we went for a recent visit, I kept coming up with hair tangled in my fingers after swimming, and it wasn't my hair. There's no way to filter the lake, of course, but again, this is not the normal Harry Wright experience that I am used to.
Speaking of dirty, the bathrooms were disgusting. It's difficult to keep a bathroom that is being used by wet, dirty little kids and old people in any manageable condition, but it used to be reasonably clean. Yesterday it was downright filthy.
The clientele is changing somewhat as well. Not so much upper middle class grandparents and their grandkids anymore. What kills me is that these people come to the lake to swim, with their hordes of unruly rude children, but do not bother to put on a bathing suit. It seems that it is perfectly acceptable to play in the water in full length yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Or in your regular underpants and bra. Not kidding. Seen it multiple times since last year, but especially in our couple of visits this year.
Milo mentioned that the lake is different somehow, and he doesn't really want to go back again, and I feel the same way. We'll give it another try; maybe these past couple weeks have been difficult for the lake-keepers to maintain due to the heavy rains. If it hasn't improved after our third time, whenever that will be, I guess we're giving it up for the rest of this year.
It's a shame, because we both used to enjoy it so much: Him for the swimming and playing with other kids, me just for the chance to sit and do nothing and float around in my tube while I watched Milo have fun. Plus nothing beats a sandwich and pretzels at the lake, with a towel wrapped around your shoulders and the sun beating on your head!
If anyone knows of any other nice summer places to swim that don't cost an arm and a leg, and is not the beach, let me know!! We might need an alternative getaway location.
This summer, we've only gone two times so far and both times have been a bit depressing. For reasons unknown, the plant life in the lake has gone unchecked, so the floating algae and assorted vegetation is out of control. It's one thing to have some of that in the lake, and it's beneficial, of course, but so much that the water is choked with it? Hardly necessary. There are mechanical and biological measures that can be taken to control the plant life to the point where it exists symbiotically as its supposed to, instead of being the first thing a person immediately notices about the water. If there's that much plant life in the lake, that means there are a lot more nutrients than usual...so where are those nutrients coming from? More goose poop? People poop? Fish poop? hard to say, but it's a bit gross for a germphobe to think about.
The water has been a little dirtier than usual as well. When we went for a recent visit, I kept coming up with hair tangled in my fingers after swimming, and it wasn't my hair. There's no way to filter the lake, of course, but again, this is not the normal Harry Wright experience that I am used to.
Speaking of dirty, the bathrooms were disgusting. It's difficult to keep a bathroom that is being used by wet, dirty little kids and old people in any manageable condition, but it used to be reasonably clean. Yesterday it was downright filthy.
The clientele is changing somewhat as well. Not so much upper middle class grandparents and their grandkids anymore. What kills me is that these people come to the lake to swim, with their hordes of unruly rude children, but do not bother to put on a bathing suit. It seems that it is perfectly acceptable to play in the water in full length yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Or in your regular underpants and bra. Not kidding. Seen it multiple times since last year, but especially in our couple of visits this year.
Milo mentioned that the lake is different somehow, and he doesn't really want to go back again, and I feel the same way. We'll give it another try; maybe these past couple weeks have been difficult for the lake-keepers to maintain due to the heavy rains. If it hasn't improved after our third time, whenever that will be, I guess we're giving it up for the rest of this year.
It's a shame, because we both used to enjoy it so much: Him for the swimming and playing with other kids, me just for the chance to sit and do nothing and float around in my tube while I watched Milo have fun. Plus nothing beats a sandwich and pretzels at the lake, with a towel wrapped around your shoulders and the sun beating on your head!
If anyone knows of any other nice summer places to swim that don't cost an arm and a leg, and is not the beach, let me know!! We might need an alternative getaway location.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Sobering Thought For The Day
As I'm puttering around doing housework this morning, and listening to Milo play in his room, I am mulling over the future that he has to look forward to. He doesn't know it, but he is going to have a tough time making his way in the world if things keep going the way they currently are in our beloved country. Think about it: Obamacare, if it is implemented, will absolutely cripple our economy as employers will not be able to afford to keep as many employees, and the unemployed won't be able to afford anything. As our unemployment funds are drained, production costs will continue to rise, which will ripple throughout all industries, creating even more problems. A trip to the grocery store will become more of a financial nightmare than it already is!
However, we stumble along blindly in our happy denial bubble. Instead of pumping money into the exceedingly vapid and largely useless entertainment industry, we should be paying more attention to our kids and their future. Can you imagine what a different place the world would be if all those billions of dollars and oodles of time were spent on bettering the edcational system? The opportunities offered to our kids would be so much more engaging and interesting. Instead, we let them waste their days off engrossed in video games and whatever else offers instant gratification because we have become a complacent, lazy society focused on superficial priorities rather than thinking about what lies ahead.
Before you argue with me take a minute and research the fees and taxes that will be levied on employers if Obamacare continues as outlined. Then look up the fines and taxes that will be imposed on every person in the US whether they participate in Obamacare or not. It is financially unfeasible. Next take a look at how much it costs to produce a movie, tv show, video game or internet series. Billions, all told, when you consider how many completed projects get shelved. Don't you think that if we didn't spend our lives looking for an escape route from our ordinary problems, that maybe those funds could be spent on more important issues? Like a national healthcare & education system that is actually affordable and easy to navigate?
The reason for all this internal muttering is that I just had dental surgery, which was an optional thing, but something that needed to be done to save one of my teeth. My dad just spent three days in the hospital for a suspected heart attack. (It was not a heart attack, thank goodness, and the important thing is, he received the care he needed at the time he needed it.) We thought these occurrences were a pain in the butt, due to their expense and the time it took to deal with them. All of that will only get worse in the near future if we don't pay attention to what is happening in the country's economic environment right now, instead of adopting the attitude of "let someone else deal with it."
It's scary and it takes us out of our comfort zone, but it's important stuff to think about. I want my kid to play Legos and play outside and have all the advantages that we have right now, and hopefully even more of them...and I want his kids to have them as well. Might not happen if we don't snap out of our self-imposed trance, and soon!
The reason for all this internal muttering is that I just had dental surgery, which was an optional thing, but something that needed to be done to save one of my teeth. My dad just spent three days in the hospital for a suspected heart attack. (It was not a heart attack, thank goodness, and the important thing is, he received the care he needed at the time he needed it.) We thought these occurrences were a pain in the butt, due to their expense and the time it took to deal with them. All of that will only get worse in the near future if we don't pay attention to what is happening in the country's economic environment right now, instead of adopting the attitude of "let someone else deal with it."
It's scary and it takes us out of our comfort zone, but it's important stuff to think about. I want my kid to play Legos and play outside and have all the advantages that we have right now, and hopefully even more of them...and I want his kids to have them as well. Might not happen if we don't snap out of our self-imposed trance, and soon!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Some Unsolicited Advice
Here's a little nugget of truth that finally hit me between the eyes. It took me 39 years to figure it out, so I'll spare you some hard work:
Keep your expectations low (of people, events, online purchases, etc) and you will never be disappointed. In fact, you might find yourself being surprised more often when things turn out better than you had thought they might!
Keep your expectations low (of people, events, online purchases, etc) and you will never be disappointed. In fact, you might find yourself being surprised more often when things turn out better than you had thought they might!
Random Stuff That Makes Me Happy
As I grow older, I've learned to find joy in unexpected places. When you're a kid, you think happiness is this thing that you can grab onto and it will last and last. Wrong!!! Happiness and joy are fragile bubbles that are easily popped, so find them in anyplace you can and enjoy their fleeting beauty.
So, in no particular order, the things that spin my dials:
* When I'm sailing past the traffic jam on 295 every morning as I exit onto route 29, where traffic is moving along just fine, despite the lights and volume.
* When somebody ELSE replaces the empty toilet paper roll!!
* When I happen to have my camera on me and I see something totally cool and picture worthy.
* When three persistent dog noses push their way under the blankets at 5:30AM to tell me it's time for breakfast. Nothing like a cold nose on your foot and the small of your back to wake you right up!
* Hearing Milo laugh at something on TV, his genuine carefree little kid laugh. Not the one that he does when he doesn't really think something is funny.
* When Corey makes dinner.
* Sitting on the deck or in the hammock, in the sun, with a good book.
* Watching the dogs have fun just chasing each other around the yard.
* A full tank of gas.
* Reading with Milo at the end of each day.
* Going on adventures big and small, and showing Milo how amazing the world can be.
* Watching Milo play with his friends and listening to the things they talk about (frequently hilarious)
* Hanging out with Corey doing nothing in particular and just talking about life in general.
* Movie night with Corey & Milo
* Spending time with the rest of my family and not arguing with them (sometimes tricky)
* Dressing up all glamourous/or crazy for no real reason.
* Wearing an amazing hat.
* Dance parties with Milo!
* Wifeswap. (Cmon, everyone has to have a guilty pleasure!)
Of course, there are too many to list, but that's just a peek into why I get a kick out of every day.
So, in no particular order, the things that spin my dials:
* When I'm sailing past the traffic jam on 295 every morning as I exit onto route 29, where traffic is moving along just fine, despite the lights and volume.
* When somebody ELSE replaces the empty toilet paper roll!!
* When I happen to have my camera on me and I see something totally cool and picture worthy.
* When three persistent dog noses push their way under the blankets at 5:30AM to tell me it's time for breakfast. Nothing like a cold nose on your foot and the small of your back to wake you right up!
* Hearing Milo laugh at something on TV, his genuine carefree little kid laugh. Not the one that he does when he doesn't really think something is funny.
* When Corey makes dinner.
* Sitting on the deck or in the hammock, in the sun, with a good book.
* Watching the dogs have fun just chasing each other around the yard.
* A full tank of gas.
* Reading with Milo at the end of each day.
* Going on adventures big and small, and showing Milo how amazing the world can be.
* Watching Milo play with his friends and listening to the things they talk about (frequently hilarious)
* Hanging out with Corey doing nothing in particular and just talking about life in general.
* Movie night with Corey & Milo
* Spending time with the rest of my family and not arguing with them (sometimes tricky)
* Dressing up all glamourous/or crazy for no real reason.
* Wearing an amazing hat.
* Dance parties with Milo!
* Wifeswap. (Cmon, everyone has to have a guilty pleasure!)
Of course, there are too many to list, but that's just a peek into why I get a kick out of every day.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mother's Day 2013
Well, here it is, Mother's Day again...Milo is 8 years old and time is flying by faster than I can shake a stick at it. Our days are a whirlwind of work, school, household chores, homework, dinner and then off to bed to get enough rest to do it all over again. On the rare moment that I actually get to have downtime, I have drifted away from wanting to sit at the computer for any reason, and am much more comfortable sprawled out in my bed, book in lap and chips in bowl! I post to FB only because of the handiness of my cell phone...if I didn't have that, I would probably never have time to look at Facebook anymore.
So anyway, all busy-ness aside, the boys went to visit Milo's Grandma Carolynn today and gifted me with a few precious hours to myself. In all honesty, it's the best gift I could have gotten as being able to hear myself think is becoming a lost art around here. While I was puttering around the yard, and playing with the dogs, I was thinking about how much our lives have changed since Milo arrived, mostly for the better, and how much I have personally learned and grown as a person since becoming a mom.
To summarize my philosophical musings:
1) You don't understand the capacity or intensity of love that can fill
your heart and soul until you have a kid of your own. Yes, I love Corey
deeply, a little more each day in fact, and always will, but that is entirely different from the
overwhelming wave I felt when we first met Milo. From the moment I knew
we were having a baby, the love I felt toward the speck (and still feel)
is so huge that it almost hurts. "Family" becomes such a more
meaningful concept when you move away from being someone else's kid and
become a parent.
2) Having a kid changes your relationship with the rest of the world. Completely. Suddenly, your world is right there in your arms and you will do anything to protect it! All other things are less important than making sure your child is safe, warm, and well cared for. For a while it is a strain to be the parents responsible for this new life but after a year or two, it gets a whole lot easier to bear the burden. Especially when the baby starts talking and you can understand exactly what he or she needs instead of trying to interpret 28 different varieties of "WAAAAHHHHHHH!' And suddenly you find you can talk to your husband again without having to shout everything at him, over the "WAHHHH" because now the kid is yelling comprehensible words instead. The day that Corey and I looked at each other and realized we were having a normal conversation that did not involve the words diapers, poop or formula was a wonderful day indeed. (Now that Milo is 8 though, we are having conversations about poop and farts all the time. Bodily functions are a source of endless amusement to that child!)
3) The hardest lesson I personally had to learn is that once you have a kid, you can kiss goodbye to EVER having an uncluttered house ever again. When I was younger I used to dream of having a spartan, Jetsons-style house where all the surfaces were very zen and bare, and if you wanted anything, you had to open a cabinet door to get it. I did my best to live that way, until I had to live with someone else!
The reality is: Not only do kids require a whole lot of crap to maintain, somehow that crap multiplies itself exponentially and is nearly impossible to get rid of. Despite doing a massive attic/closet/basement clean out at least twice a year and dropping oodles of stuff off at Goodwill on a regular basis, somehow there is always clutter everywhere I look. This used to frustrate me tremendously because I was a neatnik to the point of being OCD and would drive Corey crazy with the straightening and the cleaning. After a couple of years it finally sank in that all I was doing was stressing myself out, along with everyone around me, with trying to keep the place under control. Finally I am at the point of "Good enough." Can I see the kitchen table under the pile of stuff there? Good enough. Is the floor swept enough that you can see the pattern of the linoleum? Good enough. No more trying to obtain Martha-Stewart-crazy-perfection in the home for me! I find I have a lot more time to spend with Milo and Corey, also, now that I am less of a control freak about clutter and cleanliness.
4) All in all, being a mom is the best choice I ever made. There are bad days and good, as with anything else, but the good days are really awesome and the bad days are just slightly less than awesome. Being able to watch Milo as he develops his sense of personality and well being are more rewarding than I ever would have thought imaginable. It is a sheer pleasure to watch him tackle issues and overcome them on his own (or once in a while with a nudge from Corey and I) and to see him engage in the world around him with wonder and curiosity as he learns a little more each day. Sometimes Milo needs a little help from us, and sometimes we have to figure out when to let him do things on his own, but it is refreshing and endearing to see that our baby has grown into such a sensitive, intelligent, creative kid. If I'm saying all this good stuff about him now, imagine what we'll be saying about him in 8 more years!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
i'm comin' back, i promise!
i know all has been quiet for the last year or so...it's just that it's so much easier to blurt my thoughts on facebook...or better yet, keep them to myself. However, I got lots bottled up in my neurons, so some of that is bound to leak out eventually. So continue to wait with bated breath. I will make time to spew my views, whether you want me to or not :)
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